As the haunting wail of the Muezzin - recently described by Barack Obama as the sweetest sound in the world - roused the slumbering Pakistani inhabitants of Mirpur, Kashmir, to Morning Prayer, young Sammy Mohammed was awakened somewhat more brutally by the boot of local Mirpurian MP, Sultan Mehmood Chaudhry.
“By eck Sammy lad, thy lazy young beggar, you’ll not be thwarting democracy in Britain by festering in’t pit all day, by gum. Hand over them proxy votes sharpish my lad, lest you want your backside tanning!”
The beginning of a satirical article? I am afraid not. It is routine practice for dual nationality Pakistanis residing in Kashmir to sign thousands of proxy vote forms for the British General Election, in order that their Pakistani brothers in Britain may use them to subvert our democracy.